Fast forward to when I got the books....I guess someone neglected to tell me that they were comedies. Or perhaps someone neglected to tell the author that she is unintentionally funny about 90% of the time.
I mean seriously, what the FUCK?! Bella is perhaps the least likeable characters I have come across in several years (you know, that wasn't a villain- but even some of them had redeeming qualities). I'm not going to lie, on more than one occasion I wished that Victoria would take out the snivelling little puke (or that Jacob and Edward realized their undying love for one another and brokeback mountained it off to live happily ever after- but I digress).
Have you ever seen Blues Clues? Or really any other children's show where the main purpose is to present the only adult on the show as a drooling idiot who couldn't find his/her own ass? That, my dear, is Bella. I feel like shouting "A Clue! A Clue!" like the fucking salt and pepper shaker from Blues Clues as she BLATANTLY IGNORES what is directly in front of her for the fifty-seventh time. So, not only is she whiny, ungreatful, and the epitome of everything I hate about teenage girls, but she is also as dumb as a post. I call shenanigans on her supposedly getting top grades at school.
Seriously, the only redeeming feature for the series is this guy:
...who isn't even in the books unless you close you eyes and picture him.
Hot British Guy = Thumbs Up
Badly Written Over-Hyped Series = Thumbs Down